Seeing the difference

Of the family photos at my desk, I am in all of them. There are two that are right above my computer monitor that show me when I started my weight loss in January 2004 and the other one shows me after 20lbs off 6 months later. The only difference you can see if in my face. In the later picture you can see some of the original lines in my face, those that had already lost the shaplessness of fat. I have high cheekbones, but you would never really know that. I remember last year when I had lost so much weight. I would look in the mirror and for the first time see the changes in my body rather than expereincing the change in size through clothes. I became bolder with my clothing at that time, something I have retained even as I began to put the weight back on and then take it off again. In picture one I am wearing a shapeless blouse and my hair is long. In picture two I am actually in formal clothing. Rather than black, I selected a bright apple red top and I went sleeveless. This was actually at a wedding and I started the evening with a matching shawl, but by the end of the night I was drunk enough to feel comfortable without it and to actually dance with someone other than my father (what, what, what?). My hair was short then and while it can be a pain to take care of, I think I like myself better thinner with short hair. I wish I had some extra money to get a haircut with because I think I am ready to chop it all off again. Actually, I am ready to return to that phase in my weight loss and then take it even further because I want to see what my face really looks like under all this fat.
My swimming is coming along. I have decided that if I can stick with it for over a month (until the end of July) then I will start investing money in it (assuming I have some to do so with).